What does this mean? It means you can influence the way you feel by changing your focus. We’ve all been emotionally moved by a film or movie and have laughed or cried despite knowing that the story isn’t real but we put our attention to the storyline and it touched us. So basically, we observed or think about something and as a result our mind produced an appropriate feeling. It pretty much happens on a subconscious level and there’s nothing wrong with it. But knowing that what we observe or think about, influences how we feel, means we can use this to our advantage. Energy flows where attention goes, so we put your attention to something, and our energy responds accordingly. So if I choose to dwell on a situation that makes me sad or angry, I feel sad or angry and if I choose to change my focus and think about something positive, a happy memory or someone I love, my feelings follow suit. And if I watch the news, quite often I feel bad or worried afterwards but if I choose to watch something heart-warming or funny, I feel better. I also love daydreaming and conjuing up happy memories, that certainly changes how I feel. My top tip today is to pay attention to your thoughts and watch what you watch!
Did you know, that you can create your own anchor of inspiration and positivity by choosing a very uplifting memory and remember it vividly several times a day. We can’t be stressed and happy at the same time. By changing your focus, you change your energy level. Use happy memories to lift you up or daydream about happy future memories. If you need help finding more happiness and balance in your life, please get in touch email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org
I hope you’ve found this helpful. Happy daydreaming. Take care. Sandy
Yet another lockdown has been announced and I can almost
hear all the many desperate voices saying “Oh no, not again!” Even though I
expected this announcement, I admit that I noticed an immediate blow to my
mood, a sinking feeling, worries coming up regarding my business, my clients
and loved ones and I just needed a day or so to gather my thoughts and process upcoming
I’ve recently noticed that I’m not my usual happy self and feel a bit out of balance, so now I’m making an extra effort to look after myself, my mental health and emotional balance. Luckily, I’ve got all the knowledge and tools to help myself and others and have, in fact, been teaching them for years. Now, that I’m feeling much better, I thought I’d share a few tips that helped me to get out of the lockdown blues! Perhaps this will help you too! Try my alphabetic ABCDEFGHIJ approach! Here is the short version of my favourite ten tips:
1. Acceptance is the key! Denial, distraction or ignoring
a situation and especially our feelings towards it is not going to help. My
motto is ”accept what you can’t change and change what you can’t accept!”.
So, I can’t change this lockdown but I CAN change how I feel about it. After allowing
myself a bit of time to accept, acknowledge and feel the feeling, I then move
on, tap or dance it away.
2. Deep focused breathing is one of the best
ways to regain calmness and balance. I love 7-11 breathing and heart-centred
breathing. These wonderful exercises certainly help me feel better whenever I’m
not at ease. If you’re not familiar with them, then just take a few minutes and
focus on your breath, perhaps count to five or six with each in- and outbreath and
observe the movement of your body. Most negative feelings put us into fight or
flight, which means we can’t think clearly and might tend to catastrophise. Yet
calm deep breathing takes us out of this cycle, helps us relax and get our positive
brain power back. Do this regularly or whenever you feel anxious, sad or
3. Reach out and connect to others. A sense of connection is an innate basic need that we all have because we are social beings. This is not the time to crawl into a cave and wait until this is all over. You’re not alone and not meant to be. Let us all reach out to one another, talk to our loved ones, set up video calling, a WhatsApp group and share precious moments even if it’s in a socially distant or digital way.
4. Dance all your worries away! Nothing lifts my mood
as much as putting on some of my favourite music and dance around my living
room, normally only when I’m alone. I know it sounds crazy and it might take a
few minutes to get into it but try it and perhaps get the whole family
involved. I have friends who’d make a zoom party out of this.
5. Use EFT tapping! I love using EFT to tap on any negative
feelings and released them. So, I label the feeling, focus on where it sits in
my body, I measure its intensity on a scale from 1-10 to get clarity and then I
say out loud “Even though this situation makes me feel …., I accept how
I feel right now” and I tap through the points until I feel better.
6. Have some fun! I know it’s hard when you’re feeling a bit down but think of the things you enjoyed as a child. Be creative, use your imagination! It could be as simple as dressing up as someone else, find your old skipping rope, make a collage, watch your favourite film, eat your favourite food, bake a cake, write a story, dye your hair, repot your plants, dance in your living room…. The list is endless!
7. Focus on gratitude and count your blessings! If
you get caught up in negative thinking, just say “stop!” Thoughts can spiral
but we have the power to intervene. We can choose our thoughts consciously. By
counting your blessings or naming at least five things you’re grateful for, you
can shift your thinking from negative to positive. Start a gratitude list and
add more items every day, put it on your fridge or above your desk and read it
often to remind yourself of all the good things in your life.
8. Have a hug! The lack of human touch can have such
a negative impact on our mental health. I know we need to accept the social
distancing rules but if you have people in your household or social bubble, make
sure you hug them and receive one in return, provided it feels safe! If it doesn’t
hug yourself, hug a cushion or a teddy bear and close your eyes while imagining
it’s a loved one or offer to take a neighbours dog out for a walk and pet the
dog and play with him.
9. Use your imagination! Our minds are more powerful than we know. We can conjure up positive and negative images which then affect our mood. So why not use the lockdown to engage in some daydreaming or imagine a few wonderful scenarios that will make you happy. The aim is to feel good!
10. Do more of what brings you joy. This is in line with number six above. We can’t change the past, we don’t know what the future will bring, we just have this moment right now, so why not conjure up a few moments of joy, even if it’s just sharing your favourite anecdotes or jokes with someone or your diary.
Just to let you know, I’m at your service and love to help and inspire others. I’m available for online sessions and have a number of online products available. Feel free to get in touch.
How about a new approach to New Year’s resolutions? Let’s be honest, most of us don’t follow through anyway, right? After a few weeks the discipline wavers and we’re back to where we started. If you’re an exception, great! Congrats then keep going and see this suggestion as an add-on. If you’re not good at sticking to your NY’s resolutions, then let’s just not do them this year.
So here’s a different idea (which I started a few years ago): Why not start with an empty jar and collect happy moment memories, success stories or pictures of events and positive changes happening in 2021?
Recipe: Take one empty bottle or jar, have a few pieces of paper or post-it notes and a pen ready. Set an reminder on your phone or in your calendar to record at least two or three things every week or reflect each Sunday on what to record. No worries if it’s less than that, the idea is to keep counting and recording your blessings.
We could even record things like the end of lockdown, the joy of being allowed to see friends again, the pleasures of shopping or keep a record of how you’ve improved your home, your skills or hobbies, write down your favourite jokes or heart-warming moments when you felt moved or perhaps record an pleasant walk in nature with a picture, a beautiful sunset, a home-cooked meal that you enjoyed, a time when you laughed until your tummy hurt, a special gift you received, a zoom-party or joyful phone call with a friend. The list is endless.
Then at New Year’s Eve 2021, take out the bottle or jar and read all the notes on the happy moments of the year. If you do this with your family, have everyone pick their top three! Feel free to amend this recipe to suit your needs.
The point is to recognise and record happy moments throughout the year and then reflect on them at the end of the year. Do this and watch how your life will change over time. We all got so much more to be grateful for than we perhaps realise. Accept the challenge!
The lovely autumn season has arrived, and we can witness how wonderful change can be and how easy it is to let go. I love going for walks in autumn, reflect on things, ponder on what changes to embrace in my own life and if there’s anything I need to let go.
The change of seasons is a great time to make changes, it almost feels natural, like working hand in hand with nature. Getting ready to put old unhelpful thought patterns and habits to sleep. I guess this is also what this month’s Stoptober is about, don’t you think?
Well, if you’re ready to make a change or let go of something, here’s a very special one-time only offer for you. Get a whopping £20 discount on your next 1-2-1 session and only pay £50 instead of £70. Valid for any 1-2-1 session with me booked before 31st October. Book now as I have limited availability. I do sessions online (Skype or Zoom) as well as face-to-face in Brighton and Eastbourne.
Finally a word on fear. These are difficult times for a lot of people. Feeling afraid and restricted almost seems to have become the new normal of 2020. Yet know that we can’t be afraid and happy at the same time. If you’re afraid you’re making yourself more vulnerable as fear has a detrimental effect on our immune system. So please take regular breaks from the news and negativity around and make it your mission to do something nice instead, either for yourself or somebody else. Look after your emotional needs, watch something funny, talk to a beloved friend or family member, do a breathing or tapping exercise and count your blessings. There’s always something to be grateful for. Being relaxed and grateful is much better for your health as being afraid. So be cautious, of course, but take time to laugh and play. You have choice! Give every day the chance to be the best of your life!
Happy Halloween, if you celebrate it. Take care. Love, light and angel blessings. Sandy
There’s no question that these are strange times and life as we knew it has changed. Change can be scary, especially when it affects our sense of safety and control and leaves us with uncertainty about the future. This can really get us out of balance and that’s normal and nothing to be ashamed of. It’s especially important now to look after ourselves, acknowledge our feelings and thoughts but make sure we don’t get carried away with them. EFT tapping is a great tool to deal with any uncomfortable feelings. If you’re unfamiliar with EFT, just try one of my breathing exercises. Take a few really deep breaths and count to 5 or 6 while you breathe in and again to 5 or 6 while you breathe out. That’s a great little shortcut to help your nervous system to calm down.
Once calmer, I recommend to count your blessings. Seriously, make a list and write down at least 7-10 things that you’re grateful for. That read that list every day and add to it. We can’t be anxious and grateful at the same time, so choose your focus. Look at gratitude. There’s always something to be grateful for, even if it’s just the weather, the fact that you have shelter and food in the fridge or great past memories.
Gratitude is powerful and when applied on a regular basis,
you’ll soon find more things to be grateful for and gradually train your mind
to focus on the positive things in your life. It’ll make a great difference in
how you feel. Have fun with it. Take care. Thanks for you reading.
In these unusual times it is very important to look after ourselves and others. Apart from our physical needs such as water, food, shelter, sleep, clothing, etc. we all have innate emotional needs that ought to be fulfilled to keep in good mental health. While in the Western world most of us have our physical needs met, our emotional needs are still often neglected, partially because many of us are simply not aware of them. In addition, with current restrictions and uncertain times, it’s relatively easy to get out of balance.
So here’s a few simple tips to fulfil your emotional needs
to help with your mental wellbeing.
I understand that for many of us the need for security and safety is a bit shaken at the moment. Yet we’ve been given guidelines to follow to keep us safe, so we are in control and know what to do. Why not appreciate the fact that we have a home where we can feel safe and secure? Think of three things you like about your home! That’ll help you shift your focus. It can also be fun to create a little safe haven with a sanctuary-feel somewhere in your room. Children love building a cave or a safe space, so why not follow their example. Identify a spot. Find your favourite blanket and a teddy bear or soft toy you loved as a child. Add your favourite colours with cushions, scarfs, other fabrics, pictures and other accessories. Add photographs of your loved ones if you like and perhaps a few candles or a plant; some also like incense, soft light and relaxing music. Voila! Spend time there whenever you need to feel safe and perhaps even get into the habit of doing some regular relaxation exercises there. This will help you increase your need to feel safe and secure which will build the more often you use that corner or place to relax.
Some other emotional needs are to give and receive attention and the need for intimacy and connection. If you live on your own, why not ring your friends and family members more frequently, connect via text, create a WhatsApp group, share funny videos or record an audio message and encourage them to do the same for you. This will help you feel connected and your friends and family will surely appreciate that too. If you fancy a cuddle but can’t get one, there’s no shame in hugging your pet, a cushion, a teddy bear and especially yourself, which helps with our human need for intimacy.
Another emotional need is one for creativity and stimulation. This is a great time to reactivate old hobbies or start new ones. Here’s just a few ideas to get you thinking: painting, crafting something, singing, writing, playing a musical instrument, learning something new, join an online yoga class, try out new delicious recipes, create a quiz for your kids or friends and become a quizmaster (online if necessary), DIY, make jewellery, repot your plants or do gardening if you have a garden, redecorate your room, listen to an audiobook or read some of the books you’ve never had time to read or watch your favourite films from your childhood. These activities will give you a sense of creativity and stimulation and perhaps also develop into a new goal you wish to achieve.
Finally, you can exercise your sense of control by looking after your body-mind connection. Choose to look after yourself, get dressed every day, watch what you eat, get enough sleep, try out a new (indoor) type of exercise, create helpful rituals and feed your brain too, ideally with positive things. Please avoid watching the news several times a day or engage in fear-promoting social media posts as they can create and increase anxiety. You have a choice of what to focus on. Energy flows where attention goes, so focus on the good things in life, make a gratitude list, reignite your talents, connect with old friends and help those in need. Being of service can be great boost. Now is the time to shine. If you’re not ready that’s fine but make sure you look after yourself and your loved ones. Stay safe, enjoy the simple things in life and try to have a laugh because laughter heals. If things get too much for you and you need further help with lowering your anxiety, feel free to contact me for an online session.
Is it really June 2017 already? Wow, how did that happen? When you look back at this year so far, can you see how much has changed? Or is it just me 😉 Change is the only thing that never changes. Change is natural, change is beautiful, some resist it, some embrace, some fear it, some call it challenges but it’s actually just change. And, we influence it: we can choose our reaction to it, we can welcome it rather than cursing it. We can believe that things will all work themselves out eventually. Most challenges turn into blessings. We see them as challenges because we haven’t found the lesson in them yet. Everything in life has two sides, look out for the positive in any change that happens. Start by being grateful. Affirm that everything happens for a reason.
You and your life will continue to change. If you start counting your blessings, you can direct that change, influence it and become it. A grateful person is a happy person. You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. Look for something positive in every day, even if some days you have to look a little harder.
Set yourself reminders to do this, perhaps on your phone or have visual reminders around your workplace or home. Stop every couple of hours, take a few deep breaths and find something to appreciate about yourself, your day, the people around you or whatever comes to mind. This not only helps to reduce stress but also provides you with energy. Positive people are generally happier, healthier and more vibrant. Look for the blessing in every so-called challenge and turn it into an opportunity. By focusing on positive things, your mood will be much better and you might just stumble over a solution, yet you have to be calm and solution-focused for this to happen.
Finally, if you want to consciously change your life for the better, forget about your to-do list every now and then, leave the cleaning, tidying and many other chores for another day and do more of what makes you happy. Your children, friends and family would surely prefer a happier you over a clean house. Be happy, spread hope, enjoy the moment, that’s what people will remember about you. To turn a challenge into a blessing, start by seeing it as one and if you can’t, just let it go for a moment and find your inner strength and happiness by doing more of what makes you happy.
I don’t know about you but to me it feels that life is getting busier and busier.
Technology is supposed to make things easier and faster, right? Yet I personally feel it provides more pressure (at times), e.g. being constantly available, texting, following and responding to friends’ posts and blogs on social media, being present online so that our friends can follow us, not to mention the pressure to do well at work, for our kids to do well at school and so on. I feel that some of my friendships only exist online. We hardly have time for face-to-face conversations anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I love social media (I’ve got this blog after all) I just don’t like it when it takes over and prevents us from switching off. The temptation is there, in every free minute, to check emails, new posts, pictures and videos online. Does this sound familiar? Well, I want to do something about this. I need more me time and have a feeling others do too. I need more emotional balance and a proper time-out from the fast moving busyness of this world.
So I’ve started this new evening group. Time out Tuesday – Find your emotional balance and I’d like to invite you to join us, not online, but in person (if you are in South East England that is, Brighton&Hove area to be specific). My aim is to create a safe space for people to relax. We’ll do some exercises, like breathing, gratitude and guided visualisations to let go of stress and worries and find more balance. Feel free to share this information with anyone who you think might be interested. Thanks. See you on Tuesday!