How to find happiness

How are you feeling right now? Just stop for a minute and notice how you feel! Connect to your body and your mind….Do it right now….

Awareness is the first step towards change. Too often we’re on autopilot and don’t even notice what’s going on inside of us. By tuning into our body and feelings, we gain awareness. Notice how you feel, name the feeling, name the thought and the emotion behind it. Become aware, watch, observe, become present. Change your focus from outwards to inwards. When we ignore that inner whisper too long, it becomes a scream but by listening and noticing we can turn the volume back down again.

focus your attention
Did you know that you always have a choice? You can choose to pick a thought that makes you feel good. Try it right now. Dwell on a happy memory for a moment or imagine a happy fulfilling future. Keep it positive, inspiring and allow yourself to smile. Focus your attention on calmness, peace and happiness. Feel it from the inside out. Once you’ve done that for a moment, tune into your feelings again. Feeling better? Great! If something/someone upsets you, distract yourself with some positive thoughts, go for a walk and appreciate what you see. You can’t be calm and angry at the same time. The choice is yours. If that doesn’t work, maybe try some EFT tapping to release any negative feelings or whatever works for you. If someone said to you, would you rather be happy or unhappy, what would you say? Well, you’ve got a choice! You can focus your attention and you can choose a thought or a feeling. I, for sure, choose to be happy. Come and join me  ….*singing* ’If you’re happy and you know it….’

Happy summer holidays. I’m still around if you’re intested in a session. Wishing you a wonderful day filled with positive attention, love and happiness.

Sandy

How to conquer fear

Experiencing a bit of fear every now and then is a healthy response aimed to keep us safe. Learning something new can make us uncomfortable at first as it takes us out of our comfort zone. Doing new things makes life more interesting though and leads to growth. Courage is the best antidote to fear. Rather than focusing on what might go wrong, take a reality check. 90% of the things we worry about never happen, so why not focus on all the things that might go right? Think how great you will feel once you’ve conquered your fear? How will life be different? Who would be the first person to notice those changes? Focusing on a positive outcome increases the likelihood of positive things happening. Be your own best friend and give yourself a mental pep talk or imagine what a supportive person in your life would say to encourage you to conquer your fear.

fear-vs-courage

Did you know that you can choose your thoughts? So choose the ones that help you, not ones that drag you down. Easier said than done? Well, here’s a short cut: stop thinking for a moment and focus on positive FEELINGS! Who do you love most in life? What does this love feel like? Stay with that feeling for a couple of minutes and watch the changes in your body. Another great way to conquer fear is to focus on your breathing! Breathe in slowly while counting to 6, then let go of the air slowly while counting to 6. Repeat several times and ‘watch’ the breath moving in and out of your body. Notice your chest and belly expand, perhaps put your hands on your body to feel this movement. These two simple techniques help to become present and to focus on the here and now. They work wonders before important meetings, job interviews, presentations or to calm down fearful worries.

fear into action

Some people may need healing on a deeper level, for example to overcome trauma, phobias or panic attacks. EFT tapping and Hypnotherapy are powerful tools to conquer these issues. These and other modalities are offered by a variety of practitioners (myself included). I’ve seen the most amazing changes in my clients. Don’t let your fear imprison you, set yourself free and start enjoying life. Turn your fear into action. Like Winston Churchill said: ‘Courage is a decision’. Take your power back now!

courage is a decision

I’d love to hear if you’ve found this post helpful and look forward to reading your comments.

All the best,

Sandy

How to make 2017 your best year yet -part III moving beyond limitations

Hello again. I hope you’ve had enough time to work on your SMART goal action plan (as described in part I) and to observe your potential excuses and limiting beliefs (mentioned in part II) that stop you from 100% following that plan and achieving your goal. Now, as promised, I’ll outline how to overcome those challenges to bring about the necessary changes to make this YOUR best year yet! Of course, not everybody has limiting beliefs that prevents them from reaching their goals. If you don’t and the action plan is working out for you, great! Keep going! The type of goal may also play a role, for example, a small goal might not bring up any resistance, while a big life-changing goal is more likely to be (self-)sabotaged, on an unconscious level of course. Nobody would purposefully get in their own way. Our unconscious mind is usually trying to keep us safe and if the new goal requires us to stand out, to make changes and take risks, a bit of resistance may come up, especially if we had some bad experiences in the past, and who hasn’t?

life purpose

Let’s now have a look at how to move beyond these limitations. Both EFT and Hypnosis are effective ways to overcome these (along with many other modalities that also work, these are just the ones I use and find extremely effective).

Now, take out your answers from the questions in part II  below. These reveal your hidden barriers which can be tackled with EFT tapping. EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique and is a unique modality to release negative emotions, such as fear or anxiety which often come up when thinking of reaching a powerful goal. So, read out your goal aloud and then tune into your body to see how it makes you feel. If any fear or anxiety comes up (or anything else that is not pure enthusiasm) then we’ve got something to work on. Rate the intensity of that feeling on a scale from 1-10 and see where it sits in your body, whether it has a form, shape or colour. For some people it could be something like a ‘tennis-ball sized black knot of anxiety in my stomach’. The more precise the description, the better EFT works, so please take a moment to really tune into that feeling and write down the number and details.

tapping points

Now, let’s get started. You can refer to the picture with the tapping points, if you don’t know them already or read the EFT page  first for more information about EFT. We usually start with the so-called set-up statement which aims to tune you in as well as to acknowledge the feelings. Only if you can accept how you currently feel, you are able to shift this emotion.

Set-up: Tap on the outside of your hand and say: ‘Even though I have this …[add your description] I accept how I feel and I’m ok.’ Repeat this a couple of times and make sure you focus on FEELING that emotion in your body while tapping.
Tapping points: Start tapping slightly on the top of your head and repeat the so-called reminder phrase, e.g. ‘this tennis-ball sized black knot of anxiety in my stomach’. Then move on to the eyebrow point and repeat the statement. Again focus on the feelings and watch out for any changes. Tap through all the points while repeating the phrase or adapt it if the feeling changes. Also keep looking at your written goal to make sure you target the feelings related to this goal and not any other feelings that are currently in your energy system.

After one or two rounds of tapping through all the points, measure the intensity on the scale again and see whether the colour, size, shape or location have changed. If so, you could do a second set-up statement, for example: ‘Even though I STILL have SOME of this ….[add your description]…I accept how I feel and I’m open to letting it go.’ Then tap through the points as described above. Continue until the number is very low or zero. Then look at the next question in part II and tackle those feelings in exactly the same way.

If any memories happen to come up, keep those in your mind while tapping; imagine telling a friend what happened in that memory and tap until you can ‘tell’ the story without any negative emotions occuring. This helps clearing negative experiences from the past which may prevent us from reaching our goals. The whole process can take a while, so make sure you set enough time aside. It is important to be thorough and tap out all of this potential resistance. Remember if you overcome the resistance you will be unstoppable! It’s worth it, believe me! If you feel unsure, how to proceed or feel there’s too much coming up or you feel a bit overwhelmed with emotions, keep tapping until you calm down, then consider working with a qualified EFT practitioner who can help you shift quickly and safely.

This is just a very simple introduction to EFT, there’s much more to it. Feel free to get in touch if you need any further information or assistance. I’m a qualified advanced EFT practitioner and trainer.

In my next blog post, I’ll tell you a bit more about how to use hypnosis and visualisations to achieve your goals, yet first move beyond your limitations, fears and doubts.

If this has been helpful, please leave a comment or get in touch if you’re interested in a session. I work in Brighton & Hove, East Sussex but also via Skype.

Best of luck with making this your best year yet! Let me know how you get on.

powerful mind

How to make 2017 your best year yet – part II What’s holding you back?

About 3 weeks ago I wrote about how to set goals and take action to achieve them using the SMART approach. If you haven’t read that article yet, catch up here. Today, the focus is on how to find and overcome limiting beliefs that lead to self-sabotage or procrastination. Have you taken action in the last few weeks? What have you done to work on your goals? Or have you simply not had time or forgot about it? Keeping busy and making other things and people more important can be a form of procrastination. If we have a clear goal, a step-by-step action plan and enough motivation to go for what we want, it should be easy to achieve our goals. Just get started, make daily improvements or contributions and over time, your goals will be realised. Simple, isn’t it? Then why do so many people never reach their goals?

Born to do more

There are surely a variety of reasons (or excuses) but in my experience there is often an emotional element that holds people back, more specifically an emotion caused by certain thoughts or beliefs. For example, ask yourself: Do I really believe I can achieve this goal? If the answer is anything else than an immediate enthusiastic yes, there might be a bit of doubt that’s holding you back. Doubt leads to fear of failure and when fear takes over people tend to procrastinate or self-sabotage so that it eventually feels safer to not even try. Or perhaps you do believe in your goal but are worried about what other people may say if you reached that goal? Could there be jealousy, disapproval or even pressure from others? Or maybe your goal involves becoming successful and standing out which can cause anxiety and doesn’t feel safe, so again fear interferes (on a subconscious level) and before you know it, you’ve only half-heartedly tried before coming to the conclusion that it won’t or didn’t work.

Manifest wisely

Two great ways to overcome these limiting thoughts and feelings are tackling them with EFT tapping and/or Hypnotherapy. In fact, both work wonderfully together. With EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) we can release doubts, anxiety and fear. These act as blocks in the human energy system but can be literally tapped away by applying EFT. Once these energy blocks are gone you will be clear and motivated and a massive step further on the way to reaching your goal. If you then follow up with Hypnotherapy, which is like a guided visualisation, where you vividly imagine having achieved your goal and how wonderful that will feel, you set your whole self (conscious and subconscious) up for success. You sort of become unstoppable. Right, so let’s see what’s holding you back. Take a piece of paper and a pen and answer the following questions. If possible rate each feeling that comes up on a scale from 1-10 (one being low and 10 being very high) and give any thoughts or beliefs a percentage between 1-100% in terms of how true it feels.

1. Write down your goal. Read it out loud and then pause and see how your body reacts. Do you feel enthusiasm or anxiety? Does it cause tension? Where is it in your body? Give it a number.

2. Do you believe you can achieve this goal? Give it a percentage! For example, I’m 70% sure I can reach this goal. If it’s anything less than 100% start exploring what’s holding you back. In the above example: what do the 30% stand for? Tune in and write it down. Is it a belief or a feeling? Name it and then rate it.

3. How would other people (friends & family) react if you  achieved this goal? Be specific and write down what you think the most important people in your life would say, and more importantly how that makes you FEEL!

In my next post, I’ll write about how to use EFT tapping to tackle those limiting thoughts and feelings. Make sure you have your list of thoughts and emotions and their numbers ready. Or if you want to start right away, feel free to contact me and book an appointment. I offer 1-2-1 EFT & Hypnotherapy sessions in Brighton & Hove, East Sussex or via Skype worldwide.

Remember to enjoy every moment, smile more and be grateful for what you have already achieved.

Love and light

Sandy

Please leave a comment and let me know if this post has been helpful. Thank you.

Need more me time!

I don’t know about you but to me it feels that life is getting busier and busier.

Technology is supposed to make things easier and faster, right? Yet I personally feel it provides more pressure (at times), e.g. being constantly available, texting, following and responding to friends’ posts and blogs on social media, being present online so that our friends can follow us, not to mention the pressure to do well at work, for our kids to do well at school and so on. I feel that some of my friendships only exist online. We hardly have time for face-to-face conversations anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I love social media (I’ve got this blog after all) I just don’t like it when it takes over and prevents us from switching off. The temptation is there, in every free minute, to check emails, new posts, pictures and videos online. Does this sound familiar? Well, I want to do something about this. I need more me time and have a feeling others do too. I need more emotional balance and a proper time-out from the fast moving busyness of this world.

time-out-tuesday22thnov

So I’ve started this new evening group. Time out Tuesday – Find your emotional balance and I’d like to invite you to join us, not online, but in person (if you are in South East England that is, Brighton&Hove area to be specific). My aim is to create a safe space for people to relax. We’ll do some exercises, like breathing, gratitude and guided visualisations to let go of stress and worries and find more balance. Feel free to share this information with anyone who you think might be interested. Thanks. See you on Tuesday!

How to release pain

Pain is one of the worst experiences we can have. Did you know that our reaction to it can make it worse or better? Our emotions and expectations play a major role in the level of perceived pain and its duration. 3 years ago I was suffering from a trapped nerve and had a frozen shoulder, I could hardly move and was in a great deal of pain. As I had had this condition several times before I panicked as I knew what to expect. This expectation, panic and fear made it worse as I felt helpless, angry and in despair. Yet as a trained EFT practitioner, I then used EFT tapping to address all my fears and emotions around this condition and experienced a remarkable relief. I wrote about this on my blog 3 years ago, you can read more about it here.

difficult roads

Since then, I’m happy to say that the pain has not returned. While I used to get this at least twice a year before, it hasn’t happened at all in the last 3 years. One of the reasons may be that I’m now taking much better care of myself. I use EFT tapping regularly, I make sure I take time to relax and I listen to my body. When I notice the tensions in my shoulders worsening, I respond and honour my body, for example by taking the evening off, doing some tapping, visualising something positive or going for a massage. All symptoms in the body are just feedback. It’s important to befriend the body and work together to release any physical ailments. I now teach what I’ve learnt to others. I run weekly group sessionsand monthly workshops, such as my Time Out Tuesday group in Brighton or 1-2-1 sessions to help people release chronic pain and find inner peace.

I’ve come a long way in the last 3 years and I love sharing what I’ve learnt and helping others on their journey to find more balance in their lives. I’ve definitely managed to embrace my inner light and shine the darkness away

.your light

How to embrace your emotions, the good, the bad and the ugly

Feelings, especially on the negative spectrum, can be overwhelming, distracting, even numbing. Often we just don’t have time to deal with them, so we turn to food, drinks, TV, work, etc. Moreover, society has taught us to swallow and smile and pretend everything is ok, but repressing our emotions can lead to further problems. Emotions have energy behind them and they can build up and cause problems later. For example, we might get to the point when we just can’t take it anymore and explode, which affects the people around us and often leads to tensions and regret. Sometimes even physical problems can manifest as a result of unexpressed emotions. Repressing anything (or anyone) does never work in the long run as it builds up pressure and tension. Instead, we could reconnect to our body, see how it feels and let out what doesn’t serve us. After all, we are all human beings with feelings so let’s embrace our emotions and our deepest humanity.

Embrace all feelings

The questions arises, how to do that safely, without snapping at people around us or crying uncontrollably in public. I’m NOT suggesting that. Yet, we can start by acknowledging how we feel and stop the distraction. Personally, I’m a big fan of breathing techniques, which help to let go of the energy behind the emotion. For instance, focus on a particular feeling (or a person that triggers a negative feeling) and breathe it out (long and slowly), then imagine breathing in (long and slowly) something positive, such as the energy of peace, forgiveness, calmness, etc. Then with the outbreath, let go of the old negative emotion, followed by breathing in the positive. Visualise it, connect to it and focus on it for several minutes. Notice how much better you feel after 5 minutes, not to mention that the additional oxygen helps you think more clearly.
A second very effective technique for deeper emotional challenges is EFT tapping.

Tap on the meridian points which are part of our energy system (as in Traditional Chinese Medicine – Acupuncture points) while focusing on the particular distress. If you’re new to EFT, perhaps work with a practitioner or join a group. If you’re based in Brighton, Southeast England, you can join the weekly emotional balance group (Time Out Tuesday) starting soon.

The key is to become present and connect to your body, acknowledge how you feel and find a safe way to let go of those emotions. Doing this regularly will increase your wellbeing. You’ll become lighter, happier and more balanced. Free yourself and find your inner balance.
Love and light,
Sandy

freedom1

Self Care and Self Love

Nurturing yourself is important, especially in times of stress. A great tool that I highly recommend is doing daily affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements. Louise Hay, the queen of affirmations, has written lots of books about the topic. She recommends looking into your own eyes in front of a mirror while making positive statements about yourself. Starting with that first thing in the morning is a great way of setting you up for a positive day. Think of a few things you like about yourself and tell your reflection in the mirror. Or try and see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you. Be nice to yourself and acknowledge how far you’ve come. Remind yourself of all the many good qualities you have. It doesn’t take long to do the mirror work. Having a positive self-image is crucial if you want to shine and make a difference. If you notice any resistance coming up, declare your statements as a process, e.g. ‘I’m feeling better and better each day.’ ‘I love myself a bit more every day.’ or ‘I love learning how to relax’.

Another way of addressing any resistance that comes up is EFT tapping. If affirmation bring some of your subconscious core beliefs onto the surface, face and acknowledge them while tapping. This is really powerful. I hope you’ll take a few minutes each morning and evening focusing on your positive qualities and looking after yourself. You’re ok just as you are and when you become your own best friend, nothing can stop you. Take care of yourself and see how the world will do the same.

change the way you look at things

Overcoming Procrastination

Be willing to take risks is surely necessary on the way to creating your best possible life. Yet there might be a little old friend that keeps sabotaging the best attempts. At least that’s the case for me. Every person might have their own little inner saboteur, for me it’s procrastination. We are old friends and we go way back. Today, however when reflecting on ‘our friendship’ I’ve decided that it’s not going to work anymore. I need to move on rather than being slowed down. I choose to bond more with some of my new friends, such as ‘motivation’, ‘excitement’ and ‘action’. It’s my life, right? So I can choose my ‘friends’ and it definitely feels better to surround myself with positive friends who are helpful and encouraging and who don’t aim to hold me back. It’s not easy to let go of old habits. When using EFT (tapping) to help me let go, I realised why I was holding on to it. It was a safe place, a habit which provided me with comfort. I didn’t know any better, so rather than fighting it, I can now accept it for what it was and let go (*tap tap tap*) Dear old friend procrastination, I know you’ve just been a ‘safety mechanism’ trying to protect me from harm, from rushing into things and from becoming overwhelmed. I thank you for your service and I release you now.

breath

I’m now ready to hang out more with my new friends. We love doing ‘Positive EFT’ together (meaning that you tap on positive things such as ‘motivation’, ‘excitement’ etc. and really feel into that). Feels great! Gosh, I’m so motivated right now, I could write a book. But hey, in case you’re procrastinating while reading my blog (thanks for stopping by) I dare you to tap on your little inner saboteur (click here for tapping points and more info on EFT) and create the life you’ve always wanted. You deserve it.

believe in yourself

P.S. I wrote the above in February 2014 and just wanted to share that the tapping really helped. I have come a really long way in the last two years, and have in fact managed to write (co-author) a book since, been living and traveling abroad for the last 7 months, completed a 1 year diploma course and qualified as a Psychotherapist and Hypnotherapist, became an advanced EFT practitioner, have run EFT workshops, have worked with a Chiropractor to treat people with chronic pain and have helped people from the UK, Germany, Hungary, Australia, Switzerland, the United States and a few more with a great variety of issues. I’m grateful for my life and still keep tapping. It really works, so I’d like to encourage you to try it too. For more information see my EFT site. It’s easy to learn yet if you feel you need any support, I’d be happy to work with you. I offer sessions via Skype and will offer workshops and face-to-face treatments again from Juni in Brighton, East Sussex, UK. You can contact me via email: Sandyinbrighton@gmail.com or fill in the booking form on my EFT site. Anyway, wishing you a wonderful and productive day.
Love and light from Thailand, where I’m currently living.?