Life is made up of lots of moments, if you miss the moments, you miss life! Sometimes we just have to take a break, step back and breathe. Give yourself permission to relax! You’ll get much more done after you’ve relaxed a bit.
Whatever situation you’re in, in five years time all those little daily worries won’t matter, so why not let them go? We may have the tendency to get caught up in the nitty gritty but is it really worth all that stress? Every now and then step back and focus on the bigger picture. Look back at the last five years, have you had more joyful or more stressful moments? Tip your balance in favour of joy.
Make a decision to enjoy the little things, smile more, go to the beach or nearby park, play with your kids or pets. Seize the moment! You only have one life and you’re meant to enjoy it. Let go of fears and judgements, accept who you are and enjoy yourself. The rest will fall into place. If you need help or support on your journey to balance and happiness, I’m here for you.
We all know how important it is to follow a regular fitness routine in order to stay fit and healthy. But what about our mental health? Isn’t it equally important to stay emotionally balanced? What are you doing to achieve good mental health? It can be as simple as having a regular relaxation routine, a gratitude list, make time for a 5-minute breathing or tapping exercise or being mindful of your mind’s focus. Remember: energy flows where attention goes. Make time to count your blessings and focus on what makes you happy.
For many of you, this winter lockdown
period has been difficult. In fact, for me too. With so many messages of fear
and anxiety in the media, stories of hartship and chaos in the world, it can almost
feel like good mental health and inner peace is a luxury or a privilege that
only some people have. It’s easy to feel like that, but there is a lot you can
do to help yourself.
If you’ve worked with me in the past, you know that I offer effective solutions to help you achieve emotional balance and good mental health. You can check out my freebies and resources.
Remember to use my free relaxation recording on a regular basis (which you received a little while ago). It will help you stay relaxed and calm. If you like more variety, need a reminder of the 7/11 breathing or fancy a tapping video, then check out my products and special offers.
My goal is to help you feel balanced, safe, strong and perhaps even as light and carefree as a feather floating around in the air, without any emotional burden or stress. Isn’t that the dream?
Perhaps you’re interested in a 1-2-1
session. I offer them online and from 12th April (hopefully)
face-to-face again. As I live in Eastbourne now, I’m only offering sessions in
Brighton on Mondays and Tuesdays or anytime online.
Also, from April my prices are going up. Everything is becoming more expensive and I have been in the same price range for over 7 years now! However, any sessions booked and paid for until end of March will still be at the old price (£70 for one session or £180 for 3 sessions) even if they are taking place in April or May, so ACT NOW and BOOK YOUR SESSION. Just send a quick email to email@example.com and we’ll sort out a day and time that’s convenient for you. And as a bonus, I’ll throw in a free download worth up to £15 from my online shop, so that’s a free audio recording or a free tapping video. This offer is only valid if booked and paid by 31st March. The actual sessions can be in April or May.
If you know anyone who you feel would benefit from working with me, feel free to forward my blog post or contact details to them.
It is crucial to take care of yourself and work on your emotional balance and mental health, because it is your greatest asset! Contact me firstname.lastname@example.org to make sure you get your session(s) at the old rate and your free download. I look forward to hearing from you.
Yet another lockdown has been announced and I can almost
hear all the many desperate voices saying “Oh no, not again!” Even though I
expected this announcement, I admit that I noticed an immediate blow to my
mood, a sinking feeling, worries coming up regarding my business, my clients
and loved ones and I just needed a day or so to gather my thoughts and process upcoming
I’ve recently noticed that I’m not my usual happy self and feel a bit out of balance, so now I’m making an extra effort to look after myself, my mental health and emotional balance. Luckily, I’ve got all the knowledge and tools to help myself and others and have, in fact, been teaching them for years. Now, that I’m feeling much better, I thought I’d share a few tips that helped me to get out of the lockdown blues! Perhaps this will help you too! Try my alphabetic ABCDEFGHIJ approach! Here is the short version of my favourite ten tips:
1. Acceptance is the key! Denial, distraction or ignoring
a situation and especially our feelings towards it is not going to help. My
motto is ”accept what you can’t change and change what you can’t accept!”.
So, I can’t change this lockdown but I CAN change how I feel about it. After allowing
myself a bit of time to accept, acknowledge and feel the feeling, I then move
on, tap or dance it away.
2. Deep focused breathing is one of the best
ways to regain calmness and balance. I love 7-11 breathing and heart-centred
breathing. These wonderful exercises certainly help me feel better whenever I’m
not at ease. If you’re not familiar with them, then just take a few minutes and
focus on your breath, perhaps count to five or six with each in- and outbreath and
observe the movement of your body. Most negative feelings put us into fight or
flight, which means we can’t think clearly and might tend to catastrophise. Yet
calm deep breathing takes us out of this cycle, helps us relax and get our positive
brain power back. Do this regularly or whenever you feel anxious, sad or
3. Reach out and connect to others. A sense of connection is an innate basic need that we all have because we are social beings. This is not the time to crawl into a cave and wait until this is all over. You’re not alone and not meant to be. Let us all reach out to one another, talk to our loved ones, set up video calling, a WhatsApp group and share precious moments even if it’s in a socially distant or digital way.
4. Dance all your worries away! Nothing lifts my mood
as much as putting on some of my favourite music and dance around my living
room, normally only when I’m alone. I know it sounds crazy and it might take a
few minutes to get into it but try it and perhaps get the whole family
involved. I have friends who’d make a zoom party out of this.
5. Use EFT tapping! I love using EFT to tap on any negative
feelings and released them. So, I label the feeling, focus on where it sits in
my body, I measure its intensity on a scale from 1-10 to get clarity and then I
say out loud “Even though this situation makes me feel …., I accept how
I feel right now” and I tap through the points until I feel better.
6. Have some fun! I know it’s hard when you’re feeling a bit down but think of the things you enjoyed as a child. Be creative, use your imagination! It could be as simple as dressing up as someone else, find your old skipping rope, make a collage, watch your favourite film, eat your favourite food, bake a cake, write a story, dye your hair, repot your plants, dance in your living room…. The list is endless!
7. Focus on gratitude and count your blessings! If
you get caught up in negative thinking, just say “stop!” Thoughts can spiral
but we have the power to intervene. We can choose our thoughts consciously. By
counting your blessings or naming at least five things you’re grateful for, you
can shift your thinking from negative to positive. Start a gratitude list and
add more items every day, put it on your fridge or above your desk and read it
often to remind yourself of all the good things in your life.
8. Have a hug! The lack of human touch can have such
a negative impact on our mental health. I know we need to accept the social
distancing rules but if you have people in your household or social bubble, make
sure you hug them and receive one in return, provided it feels safe! If it doesn’t
hug yourself, hug a cushion or a teddy bear and close your eyes while imagining
it’s a loved one or offer to take a neighbours dog out for a walk and pet the
dog and play with him.
9. Use your imagination! Our minds are more powerful than we know. We can conjure up positive and negative images which then affect our mood. So why not use the lockdown to engage in some daydreaming or imagine a few wonderful scenarios that will make you happy. The aim is to feel good!
10. Do more of what brings you joy. This is in line with number six above. We can’t change the past, we don’t know what the future will bring, we just have this moment right now, so why not conjure up a few moments of joy, even if it’s just sharing your favourite anecdotes or jokes with someone or your diary.
Just to let you know, I’m at your service and love to help and inspire others. I’m available for online sessions and have a number of online products available. Feel free to get in touch.
Hi, I’ve got an announcement: I’ve got a brand-new website and NEW DIGITAL PRODUCTS! During the last few months, I’ve been very busy creating my new website www.emotionalbalance.co.uk/ and new downloadable online materials. For years I’ve been dedicated to help people find healing and emotional balance and now you can create your own toolbox with the methods you like best and use them anytime and as often as you like.Yay! Perhaps exactly what is needed in terms of self-care in these uncertain times. I have brand-new individual downloads which include relaxation audios and EFT tapping videos, check out all my new products here www.emotionalbalance.co.uk/shop/ I’ll make more over the next few months, so the catalogue will be growing.
In addition, I’ve created two packages which include a bundle of videos, audios and worksheets. They are called ‘Boost your motivation’ and ‘Improve your sleep’ both of which are run as a private Facebook social learning group, where the materials can be accessed and downloaded. More materials will come soon! If you know anyone who could benefit from more motivation or better sleep or any of the individual downloads, please let them know about these unique new empowering self-help products of alternative tools and energy psychology.
My biggest and best project so far, is my EMOTIONAL BALANCE ONLINE COURSE aimed at helping clients to make profound changes. This online course gives you all the information, tools and exercises to learn how to find and keep your balance and develop powerful strategies and daily routines to become a better and calmer version of yourself. It is the equivalent of at least 6 sessions with me and contains a comprehensive set of materials to empower you to help yourself with alternative tools and energy psychology. Everything has been pre-recorded so you can work through it in your own time. Find out more here: www.emotionalbalance.co.uk/product/emotional-balance-online-course/
You can have a look at all my new products here: www.emotionalbalance.co.uk/shop/ Perhaps now is a good time to look after yourself a bit more and get back into balance. We all deserve happiness.
Wishing you a lovely rest of the day and week. I do hope you’re well or on your way to a speedy recovery. If there’s anything I can do to help you on that journey, please let me know. Love and Light. Sandy
There’s no question that these are strange times and life as we knew it has changed. Change can be scary, especially when it affects our sense of safety and control and leaves us with uncertainty about the future. This can really get us out of balance and that’s normal and nothing to be ashamed of. It’s especially important now to look after ourselves, acknowledge our feelings and thoughts but make sure we don’t get carried away with them. EFT tapping is a great tool to deal with any uncomfortable feelings. If you’re unfamiliar with EFT, just try one of my breathing exercises. Take a few really deep breaths and count to 5 or 6 while you breathe in and again to 5 or 6 while you breathe out. That’s a great little shortcut to help your nervous system to calm down.
Once calmer, I recommend to count your blessings. Seriously, make a list and write down at least 7-10 things that you’re grateful for. That read that list every day and add to it. We can’t be anxious and grateful at the same time, so choose your focus. Look at gratitude. There’s always something to be grateful for, even if it’s just the weather, the fact that you have shelter and food in the fridge or great past memories.
Gratitude is powerful and when applied on a regular basis,
you’ll soon find more things to be grateful for and gradually train your mind
to focus on the positive things in your life. It’ll make a great difference in
how you feel. Have fun with it. Take care. Thanks for you reading.
These are difficult times and not being able to see friends and family, the current uncertainty about the future mixed with fearful messages from the media can really have an impact on somebody’s mental health. Now it’s especially important to look after ourselves and for some it might be easier as long commutes are not on the agenda at the moment and working from home or not working at all free up time and hopefully provides comfort. So we’re trying to find the balance between what’s worse right now, getting used to what’s different and be happy about what’s better.
Our mind is such a powerful tool yet it’s important to feed it the right messages and take control. There was once a story about two wolves, an old legend of unknown origin. It’s the tale of the fight between two wolves we all have insight of us representing our inner conflicts. One wolf is evil full of anger, jealousy, self-pity, regrets, arrogance and laziness while the other, the good one, is filled with joy, empathy, peace, courage, faith and generosity. The question is asked which of these fighting wolves would win the battle and after reflection the answer is revealed: The one you feed.
one are you feeding? Are you spending time complaining how bad it is or are you
actively seeking to find the opportunities in the current situation? Are you
taking time to look after yourself and embrace new hobbies, habits and
connecting to others perhaps via technology? Or are you hiding in your ‘cave’
waiting for the storm to blow over? The important bit is that we all have a
choice which wolf we feed and the one we feed will be growing and becoming
I know this
is a very simplistic point of view and things aren’t usually just black or white
but I like the message behind it as we can only focus on one emotion at a time,
we can’t be happy and sad at the same time and even if we’re sad we can switch
our focus to something else, someone we love, for example and the feelings will
change and follow our thoughts.
Sometimes, however, we can get stuck in a negative emotion, such as anxiety and find it hard to switch and get out. If changing your thoughts doesn’t change, then give your body a break and use both your body and your mind to find a bit of peace. When body and mind work together, anything is possible. So here’s a quick and easy 5-10 minute relaxation exercise to get from anxiety to calmness:
somewhere quiet and comfortably. Focus on your breath, observe it for a minute, then
start counting. Count to five or six while you breathe in and to five or six
while you breathe out. Do this for a few minutes. Then start daydreaming. Think
of a lovely safe place where you can relax, perhaps a beach or a forest you
know. Build it up with your inner eye and notice the colours, sounds and
smells. Then imagine going for a stroll there while taking in the calmness of
that place. Do this for a couple of minutes or so before coming back. Notice
the difference in how you feel. Repeat regularly.
Try it out, really, how about now? Don’t postpone or delay. If appropriate, do it now for a few minutes! If it works teach it to someone else. If everyone did take a 5-minute break like this every day, we’d all be much calmer and happier.
In these unusual times it is very important to look after ourselves and others. Apart from our physical needs such as water, food, shelter, sleep, clothing, etc. we all have innate emotional needs that ought to be fulfilled to keep in good mental health. While in the Western world most of us have our physical needs met, our emotional needs are still often neglected, partially because many of us are simply not aware of them. In addition, with current restrictions and uncertain times, it’s relatively easy to get out of balance.
So here’s a few simple tips to fulfil your emotional needs
to help with your mental wellbeing.
I understand that for many of us the need for security and safety is a bit shaken at the moment. Yet we’ve been given guidelines to follow to keep us safe, so we are in control and know what to do. Why not appreciate the fact that we have a home where we can feel safe and secure? Think of three things you like about your home! That’ll help you shift your focus. It can also be fun to create a little safe haven with a sanctuary-feel somewhere in your room. Children love building a cave or a safe space, so why not follow their example. Identify a spot. Find your favourite blanket and a teddy bear or soft toy you loved as a child. Add your favourite colours with cushions, scarfs, other fabrics, pictures and other accessories. Add photographs of your loved ones if you like and perhaps a few candles or a plant; some also like incense, soft light and relaxing music. Voila! Spend time there whenever you need to feel safe and perhaps even get into the habit of doing some regular relaxation exercises there. This will help you increase your need to feel safe and secure which will build the more often you use that corner or place to relax.
Some other emotional needs are to give and receive attention and the need for intimacy and connection. If you live on your own, why not ring your friends and family members more frequently, connect via text, create a WhatsApp group, share funny videos or record an audio message and encourage them to do the same for you. This will help you feel connected and your friends and family will surely appreciate that too. If you fancy a cuddle but can’t get one, there’s no shame in hugging your pet, a cushion, a teddy bear and especially yourself, which helps with our human need for intimacy.
Another emotional need is one for creativity and stimulation. This is a great time to reactivate old hobbies or start new ones. Here’s just a few ideas to get you thinking: painting, crafting something, singing, writing, playing a musical instrument, learning something new, join an online yoga class, try out new delicious recipes, create a quiz for your kids or friends and become a quizmaster (online if necessary), DIY, make jewellery, repot your plants or do gardening if you have a garden, redecorate your room, listen to an audiobook or read some of the books you’ve never had time to read or watch your favourite films from your childhood. These activities will give you a sense of creativity and stimulation and perhaps also develop into a new goal you wish to achieve.
Finally, you can exercise your sense of control by looking after your body-mind connection. Choose to look after yourself, get dressed every day, watch what you eat, get enough sleep, try out a new (indoor) type of exercise, create helpful rituals and feed your brain too, ideally with positive things. Please avoid watching the news several times a day or engage in fear-promoting social media posts as they can create and increase anxiety. You have a choice of what to focus on. Energy flows where attention goes, so focus on the good things in life, make a gratitude list, reignite your talents, connect with old friends and help those in need. Being of service can be great boost. Now is the time to shine. If you’re not ready that’s fine but make sure you look after yourself and your loved ones. Stay safe, enjoy the simple things in life and try to have a laugh because laughter heals. If things get too much for you and you need further help with lowering your anxiety, feel free to contact me for an online session.
In a world where the majority of people (apparently two thirds) are extroverts, there are certain unspoken expectations of how to fit in and how to ‘be normal’. For example, we should see friends and family regularly, always go out when asked, engage in active hobbies and continuous professional development, support good causes, be successful, do exciting things and ideally let the world know about it by posting pictures and status updates on social media.
For extroverts this might not be a problem as many of them like being around others and don’t usually mind the general busyness and noise of modern life whereas introverts, on the other hand do! Working all day, commuting and the feeling that we then should also fill our leisure time with exciting things, tasks and people can be overwhelming, although I guess to a certain extent that is true for everyone. Perhaps extroverts just generally cope better with being busy, having full schedules and long to-do-lists and somehow still seem to find the energy to have a great social life too.
Introverts may just need more time alone, they may not want to
be out and about all the time, communicate
with everyone constantly about what’s going on in their life or simply do lots
of different things. They like to retreat, have time to think and process
events of the day, need peace and quiet to balance out all the noises,
pressures and expectations they encountered. And that is totally okay! We’re
all different and both introverts AND extroverts are needed and valuable.
Introverts might get fed the feeling that something is wrong
with them, if they need a break from it all every now and then. Questions might
pop up around them like “Where have you been?” “Why aren’t you coming out with
us?” “You’re so quiet, is everything ok?” “Did you get my text?.” etc. The
unspoken label ‘depression’ may occasionally float around but are people who
need some alone time and don’t feel up for talks, events and gatherings really
Please don’t get me wrong, I’m neither downplaying depression nor am I suggesting that introvert people come across as depressed. It’s just that in my experience as a holistic health practitioner I’ve come across a number of clients who diagnosed themselves and thought they had some sort of mild depression, many of whom turned out to ‘just’ be introverts with no mental health problem whatsoever. So, I thought I’d write about it as I guess it can be quite a relief for anyone doubting themselves.
You don’t have to bend over backwards to fit in. It’s okay to be who you are, it’s okay to miss out on an evening with friends, it’s okay to stay in and take time out for yourself. In fact, if you feel you need it, it’s necessary! It’s important to respect our own needs and if alone time is what we need, then let’s take it. It helps to recharge our batteries and only if we look after ourselves, can we also look after others, plus if you have kids, you set a great example in showing them the importance of self-care.
Now, I’m not advocating to become a hermit. If someone is losing interest and enjoyment, feels in a depressed mood for an extended period of time, experiences increased fatigue or loss of energy, has disturbed appetite and/or sleep problems and engages in pessimistic views of the future, there might be an element of depression and getting support would be advisable. The IDC-10 (meaning: international classification of diseases 10th edition) is often used as a model for diagnosis and can be helpful. I’ve worked with a lot of clients to help them get out of their ‘down period’ and there’s lots of wonderful tools to help with that, such as Solution-focused psychotherapy and hypnotherapy and EFT.
Yet simply being introspective, reflective and observing, enjoying a bit of alone time, having quiet hobbies, not joining every social event or being a bit under the weather every now and then does not mean depression! These are qualities of introverts and it’s important to respect them in order NOT to get depressed in the future because by not getting our emotional needs met, we are more prone to mental health problems. So, take a break to daydream if you need to. Take time out for yourself and please respect others who do the same. What about you? Has this blog post been helpful? Are you an introvert or an extrovert? I look forward to reading your comments. Thanks.